When should you refer to your unborn child as he or she? That’s what we’re going to talk about here. The obvious answer may not be as obvious as many would like to believe.
If you’re the pregnant woman reading this, then it will be obvious to you, and you’ll probably refer to your baby by their sex right away. You may even have a name already chosen for them. If so, then it’s okay to start to refer to them as their name. There is no reason why you can’t get a headstart on that.
Don’t be surprised if some people forget the sex of your baby
Your spouse isn’t going to forget. Your parents and your husband’s parents aren’t going either. But, the people you deal with on a day to day basis may forget.
If they do, don’t get bent out of shape. It’s common for people to forget small pieces of information they receive throughout the day. It might not seem as important to someone that you only see once a week. A neighbor can easily forget when they have a ton of other things to be worried about.
It’s a good idea to view your baby as a person right away
I write this as the perspective of a man. I am a man. Sometimes men have a way of forgetting that what’s inside a woman is a human being. If he’s a new father, then the whole situation may be overwhelming at times.
He may want to forget about the responsibility that’s about to come his way. Now is the time to get a firm grasp on what’s about to happen. It’s a big wakeup call being a parent, and pregnancy is the easy part for the man. So, it’s time he bucks up and thinks about what’s ahead of him.
Don’t be afraid of becoming attached to the baby
My wife and I lost a baby the first time she got pregnant. It was a painful experience, and we didn’t know the sex of the baby. That entire experience made me apprehensive about feeling too close to our daughter when my wife was pregnant again.
Still, I made an effort to talk to her inside my wife’s belly long before we knew the sex. I talked to our baby from the very day I knew my wife was pregnant. It was therapeutic in some ways after losing the first baby. I started saying “she” when we knew that our baby was going to be a girl.
The time to get attached to the baby is when the pregnancy has been discovered. There is not a good reason not to become attached to the baby from the very beginning. It’s a healthy thing to want to bond with the baby. Yes, bond is the right word.
Mom will bond with the baby because it’s already inside her. It’s also a good idea for the dad to bond with the baby as it will make the transition into fatherhood easier. It will still be a bumpy ride at the beginning for him, but cementing the idea that he is a father long before the baby is born is a great thing.
Overcomplicating the situation is a bad idea
Those around you should call your baby by its sex. But, don’t be surprised if every time they refer to them, it’s not by their sex. It’s also okay to simply refer to it as “the baby”. There is a push in today’s world to overcomplicate gender to the degree that doesn’t make sense.
This isn’t a political statement as it is one of fact. You’re dealing with a baby, and there are many difficult challenges ahead. This is one of those things that isn’t difficult in the least.
Your baby is what they are, and that’s it. Save your brainpower for the challenges ahead like trying to figure out if your baby ate their favorite plastic toy or did the dog hide it somewhere. You’ll spend countless hours fretting over that toy, and it’ll pop up days later where you least expect it.
Gender is what it is
The beauty of the pregnancy process is that in the beginning, no one knows what the gender of the baby is. Everyone is guessing, and some people are hoping for one thing or the other.
I would argue that the gender of your baby isn’t important in the sense that you should hope for one or the other. Instead, hope for a healthy and happy baby. The health of your baby is far more important than hoping for one gender or the other.
My advice is to refer to them by their gender right away. If you’re the mother, then start calling them by their gender right after you learn what it is. The people around you will eventually do the same, and it’ll catch on before you know it.