Rob Scheer adopted and fostered four children with his husband. This is how they educate others with their “forever family.”
After having an abuse-filled childhood, Rob Scheer was put into the system at the age of 12. Now, after decades, he strives to enlighten the public about what the foster system is really like and how it feels to be a child only searching for a place to call home.
Scheer uses his book A Forever Family: Fostering Change One Child at a Time, to tell his readers all about how he was abused by his stepfather, foster father, biological parents and others.
He also tells them about his journey within the system and how he eventually became homeless when his foster family put him out on the street shortly after he turned 18.
Scheer eventually managed to climb the corporate ladder and later, he met Reece who is now his husband. Together, they are raising four children: Amaya, who is 14 years old, Makai, who is 11 years old, Greyson who is also 11 and Tristan who is 9 years old.
They created their “forever family” by fostering and adopting these two sets of siblings.
Everything In A Trash Bag
When this foster family’s journey first began, it immediately came to Scheer’s attention that the children had brought all their possessions in trash bags – just like he did when he was a child.
Scheer was moved by this and he created a nonprofit organization that organizes bags that are filled with things like stuffed animals, pajamas, books and hygiene products for children in the system nationwide.
Rob also speaks openly about the traumatic childhood he had and about the bouts of addiction and depression he later had. He said in an interview with HuffPost that he is often criticized about this, especially about telling his kids these stories, but he is not going to stop because his kids and others need to know that they get strength from their past and this strength will help them take control of the future.
He says that those critics have never been in his shoes and that everyone should be proud of their past, regardless of how difficult it may be, because our past is part of what defines us.
Scheer aims to use his book A Forever Family: Fostering Change One Child at a Time, to tell the public about the reality faced by kids in the system and teach these kids that they deserve love as much as every other child does.
One particular challenge Scheer has talked about are comments about his family – two gay white men raising four black kids. These two fathers have conversations about prejudice and race with their children. With people looking in from the outside, they have to take on the notion that people do not see race, and thus, see everybody as equal.
Scheer says that people tell him all the time that they do not see color but he counters this by saying that if they do not see color, then they do not see his children because his children are color and they deserve recognition.
He knows that a lot of people’s hearts are in the right place when they say things like this but he points out that if you say that you do not see color, then all you see is a river of white.
Rob Scheer’s family will continue to tackle comments and issues like these, and they will continue to tell the public about the reality faced by kids in the system and teach these kids that they deserve love as much as every other child.
Scheer says to HuffPost that his goal is not to scare people away from adoption or from the system, but he wants people to go into it with their eyes open, and to adopt with complete understanding and with unconditional love.