You and your spouse are the happiest people on the planet. You’ve got a brand new bundle of joy, and it’s even more exciting than you ever thought. It’s so much fun to be a parent you don’t even notice that you haven’t slept in a week.
Then, out of nowhere, you start to feel lonely. Surely it’s not possible to feel lonely when you’re around someone all the time. After all, every second of your free time is spent with your spouse and newborn child.
We often overlook the emotional needs of ourselves when it comes to taking care of our families. Keeping the sparks going in your relationship isn’t just about lovemaking or a sense of togetherness. If it were only so simple, it’s vital to the health of your relationship that you connect on an emotional level.
Those times when you’re in each other’s arms and the world stops is a much-needed break from reality for your mind. We are creatures who need emotional fulfillment on a sophisticated level.
Sneak in hugs and kisses when you can
There are times when you can set aside a minute or two for a super fast make out session. Also, don’t forget the power of a nice long warm bear hug. The feeling of your partner’s arms wrapped around you is a wonderful thing.
Look into their eyes and tell them why you love them so much. Don’t hesitate when it comes to being mushy. You have a child together. You’re a real couple now. You’ve got a long life to live together, and this is just the beginning.
If you can’t be mushy around each other now just imagine what it’s going to be like when one of you needs their diaper changed when you’re old and over the hill. Life is full of uncomfortable moments, and they’re just beginning.
The definition of romance has changed
Being a parent affects us all in many different ways. What you once thought of as romance is a whole different thing now. Remember those days when a romantic evening was to go out for a meal and then come home to snuggle on the couch?
Those days are long gone. They are at least until your child is out of diapers. If you’re new parents, then you’ll have to wait a year or two at the least before those romantic nights are anywhere near what they used to be.
You have to understand that all of life is a growing process. You’re not the same person you were before your child was born. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that your love life changes as well. Men usually have the most difficult time adjusting to this new reality, but it’s something that has to be done.
The man in the relationship needs to understand that his wife’s body is going through all kinds of changes. If that wasn’t enough, then there’s a hungry baby who’s always clinging to her that’s about to soil themselves at any given moment. Yeah, it’s hard to feel romantic during those times.
Work on strengthening your bond
Your romantic flings that lasted well into the early morning hours have been replaced with make-out sessions that last a minute or two at the most. It’s natural for both of you to wonder if the other has lost interest and all that.
Hopefully, the two of you will see that it’s only a matter of each of you adjusting to your new lives together. It’s not an easy adjustment, and you will find ways to sneak in a little romance. But, those long steamy nights are going to be long gone for quite a while. That’s just the way life is and there’s not much that either of you can do about it.
What you can do now is work on your bond. The two of you have something that can’t be broken. That doesn’t mean it’s flawless. You do need to work on your bond and the nurture the feelings that you have for each other.
The way that you do that is by trying to sneak in small amounts of alone time when the baby is sleeping. You may ask your child’s grandparents if they can babysit for an hour outside while the two of you enjoy a little alone time.
It’s never going to be like it was and honestly, nothing in your life is. Your life is totally different today than what it was before your baby was born. Why would your love life be any different? It’s not, and having a baby impacts everything around you.
The foundation of your relationship is love
If the two of you genuinely love each other, then this is just a small hurdle to get over. The physical needs of the relationship are essential, but not the overriding reason why the two of you are together in the first place.
Sure, it’s a crucial role in any marriage, but it’s only one component. Starting a family changes every aspect of your life, and it can be stressful for someone who needs some companionship. But, it’s the small price we pay for the beautiful gift of being a parent.